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After years of writing out a budget only to break it over and over again I found IT! The frugal values based budget is by far the only budget that actually worked for our family‘s goal: achieving FIRE – Financial Independence Retire Early – in 10 to 15 years. That‘s because living frugally allows our family to save more money than ever thought possible.
We are well aware of our privilege of choosing to live frugally. We are not forced to live frugally, and that is a big difference. I know very well what I am talking about. But, by enjoying a frugal live with kids is only possible if you have a frugal mindset. If you focus on all of that you get instead of all of that you „lose“.
Let us explore how and why living a mindful frugal life isn’t living a cheap life and how you can implement this for your family. What life goal and financial goal could that open up for your family?
Contents
ToggleThe values based budget is a budgeting method that focuses on spending money primarily towards what matters most to YOU. To us that is achieving FIRE as a family as soon as possible because of the time freedom it offers. And I talk more about that on our About Us page. So, we want to direct most of our money towards that goal.
If you want to learn all about the values based budget, go ahead and read the blog post How I Spend My Money On What Matters Most & Skip The Rest.
But, what makes the values-based budget a frugal one? How can we embrace frugality within it? Not in the form of deprivation. But in the form of eliminating the fluff. In the form of only being left with a small list of expenses YOU feel add significant value to YOUR life. And to your family‘s well-being.
Or in other words: How can you save a bunch of money while living your best life as a family? That is quite a balancing act and painful process the first time we did it, let me tell you. But, it‘s worth it. After we have gone through this process we started to save 1.000 Euro per month. Just by living off our new frugal values based budget. And we feel no difference in everyday life. I wished I have tried this earlier.
If you want to start this process yourself be prepared to ask some hard questions. To have some difficult conversations with your partner. To put in quite a bit of work every day. But if you do, the reward will be worth every effort. Because you‘re going through all of this for something that‘s worth it to you (like retiring early as a family). And for me, that makes all the difference.
So, how do you do it? First, you want to isolate the exact expenses that contribute to your core happiness. Your goal is to figure out when spending money makes the real difference in your life. I have 3 intense questions for you:
To figure it out you have to be aware and conscious whenever you spend money. Usually, our spending had become so automatic that we don‘t even realize it. We want to stop that. We want to begin the fight against mindlessly spending money. Against just swiping our credit card or debit card, ordering stuff on Amazon – all of that we habitually do. That is so so hard. I know this firsthand.
Once we know what we truly care about we want to find the frugal substitute. For each and every thing (and expense behind) that matters most to us. Because simply figuring out what matters most isn‘t quite enough. Yes, you may have a small list with your core expenses you truly don‘t want to give up. But, that doesn‘t make those expenses small. So, how do you apply the concept of frugality (not in the form of deprivation!)?
You find a less expensive way to get THE SAME end result. But, for less. You don‘t want to decrease the quality (this is very important!). You want to find new creative alternatives for your current expenses. The frugal analogues. But, and this is very important, you want that to be sustainable for the long-term!
You don‘t want to create a budget that is only focused on saving money. Rather you want to craft a lifestyle where you get the same level of happiness but for less. You eliminate expenses from your budget by finding a frugal substitute YOU feel really really good about. If you do so, you will cut that expense forever. Only then your budget will actually work for you.
I want to share a personal example here. Spending quality time with our little bundles of joy is one of the most important areas in our budget. I bet for you too. But, how does that look like now in everyday life? And how could that look like, ideally? For us it‘s about relaxing in nature and simply having no schedule, ideally. But I just never did that. Why? I want to invite you going really deep down the rabbit hole on that very personal example to see how finding the frugal analogue of an expense looks like.
When I first thought about family values it was about the environment I want to create for my kids. How I want to educate them. I initially resisted the idea of finding a „frugal substitute“ when it comes to my values and „the right environment“ for my kids. Why? Well, because I thought I will limit my kids, if I do not offer them „enough“. Does that sound familiar to you? I bet it does for some of you.
But, how wrong I was. Turned out that every every time I found a frugal substitute for a current expense I added significant value to my kids life. I am honest with you: I was truly surprised.
We think we limit our kids if we don‘t go with them to a park, a museum, an art exposition, a concert (of classical music) and the list goes on. We never think we might limit them if we don‘t offer them free play time, with us. But, that is exactly what they need. FREE time to figure out who they are. To evolve in their character. To strengthen the bond between siblings and between them and us.
It‘s not about never ever again going to a park, a museum, an art exposition, a concert (of classical music) and so on. It‘s about going there occasionally from time to time. But then much more often offering them that free play time. Ideally outdoors (which seems to be magical for my kids as they are so much more relaxed).
According the World Health Organization that happens far too less in our modern society. With drastic consequences for our kids health. „The World Health Organization recommends children from one to five years old spend at least three hours per day in a variety of physical activities, while children aged between five and seventeen should engage in at least one hour of moderate to vigorous intensity physical activity daily“ (source: „Time to go out and play“ from the WHO). Ideally outdoors.
Here are my family‘s core values – all relate to the following: health, family, personal growth. When it comes to finding the frugal substitute to all related expenses I was quite surprised how easy that actually was. This is my starting point:
Family Value | Concrete | Frugal Substitute |
health | enabling healthy eating | self-sufficiency, grocery shop at farmers, cooking |
health | prioritizing physical & mental health | mindfulness, bike-rides, hikes, respectful tone |
family | implementing quality time | shared experiences, family bed time, daily one-on-one time for every kid |
family | achieving financial independence as a family | how we teach kids about FI |
family | offering high-quality education | we‘re figuring it out, now it‘s a private Kindergarten |
personal growth | pushing beyond limits | offering challenges to kids |
personal growth | pursuing self-fulfillment | offer unscheduled time (to figure it out), reading books, homeschooling |
personal growth | community involvement | integrate in local networks (e.g. church, charity) |
If you want to further study living an intentional and happy life as a family that results in budgeting with purpose I can recommend the following 7 books to read and some mom blogs too you will LOVE:
When you walk away today with at least one new idea to improve your personal financial journey towards F.I.R.E. I’d love to show you some more in the next post. If you haven’t already, you can apply to become a part of the community to not miss any new release. For that you can subscribe to our newsletter below in the green footer.
Now, I’d love to hear from you: Which way of investing in yourself as a frugal mom or mommy to be sounds most appealing to you? Let me know in the comments below!
Title image source: Jakub Żerdzicki on Unsplash
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